Wait...What?

I'd like to tell you the story of the fourth of May. To fully appreciate the story, you'll need to recall that my wife revels in obsessive compulsive behavior. She cannot knowingly allow herself to be surprised and she cannot for the life of her keep a secret.

The condition is hereditary.

I tried to surprise her once when we were dating with an unannounced weekend visit. I coordinated the surprise with her sisters, who in turn told their dad, who in turn blabbed about the whole thing to Jen. My only redemption was that she didn't believe him, it was too fantastic of a tale!

So in my house, no big news goes unannounced, not for a second. The fourth of May, aside from being the day before my mom's birthday, is the day that changed.

About an hour before I left work I got a call from Jen, as I often do when it gets close to quitting time. She was calling to see when I would be leaving and to tell me she and K were going to take a nap. That was my signal not to call them on my way home. I arrived home to find everyone in bed. The fourth of May was a Monday, and as you know they often become Martini Mondays, so a nap sounded good to me too. I think it was about an hour later, I was just starting to get my sleep on when Kaitlyn woke up. Jen went to get her and I started to doze back off when suddenly both mother and daughter were front and center next to me at the bed.

K was performing her usual "I'm so happy to see my daddy home from work" routine, which is a kind of modified Happy Dance. I sat up to receive my precious princess but Jen kept holding her at a distance, smiling. I thought this a little odd but I just kept waving and smiling and talking to Kaitlyn, waiting for mommy to let her come see her favorite daddy. Finally Jen asked me if I liked Kaitlyn's new shirt (the one she's wearing in the picture above).

Daddy: When did she get a new shirt? And who the hell approved that expense?

Mommy: "We went to Babies 'R Us today."

Daddy: "Oh you did, did you?"

And just as I was spooling up for paragraph two of my "the child has more clothes than I do" speech, Jen asked me if I saw what the shirt said. Obviously not, I was still on the fact that she bought her yet another article of clothing. Why are they always trying to change the subject? Besides, I'm the daddy, if the child is clothed, I'm happy. If she's wearing the Gettysberg Address on her clothing, that's mommy's department. To keep the peace, I read the shirt.

Daddy: "She can't wear that."

Mommy: "Yes she can."

Daddy: "No, she CAN'T!" (what,does she think I'm dumb or something?)

Mommy: "Yes, SHE CAN!"

Daddy: "Wait...what?"

So now you know and you more or less found out the way I did. But the most amazing part--apparently Jen CAN keep a secret. What's more, she waited a whole six days before we told the grandparents.

And that was the fourth of May.

The Things Kaitlyn Does: #4

The Happy Dance

The Things Kaitlyn Does: #3

No matter how many times I correct her, K still insists that "ball" is the same thing as "open". I know this because when she brings me a something to open and says "ball? ball? ball?" and I say "you mean open?" she smiles and does her happy dance. Opening and closing things sometimes occupies her for hours.

Happy Father's Day Grandpa!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

The Things Kaitlyn Does: #2

I started to vacuum one day and Kaitlyn got scared. In order to calm her down and show her there is nothing to be afraid of, I picked her up and let her vacuum with me. It proved to be a pretty good workout. Unfortunately, every time someone opens the closet where the vacuum "sleeps", Kaitlyn gets inspired to clean. I guess it's cheaper than a gym membership.

The Things Kaitlyn Does: #1

On most holiday weekends on my block, you'll find me sitting in the middle of the street with my neighbors, enjoying good food, conversation, and more than a few refreshing beverages.  

Memorial Day was no exception this year.  

In order to try and avoid the worst of the hot, humid, South Texas weather typically brewing towards the end of Spring, we started the party this year rather late, at 6:30--late at least by Kaitlyn's standards.  

After running around for about 3 hours, Kaitlyn started getting cranky.  She started walking away from us down the middle of our dark residential street. 

At first I thought she was heading for the cones that were set up to route traffic around our little street soiree, but she kept walking. 

Jen started following and called her name. Without turning around, K just kept walking, throwing her hands up in the air as if to say "I've had enough". She walked all the way home, went into the house, straight to her room, took some clothes out of her pajama drawer, and waited for mom to put her to bed. 

She probably wrote in her diary the next day about how awful her parents are to keep her out so late.

Deadbeat parents.